This emerged from a struggle to start a project due to the fear of beginning. I was prompted by a short piece of writing by Ira Glass that attributes this fear to a gap between a person’s current output and their taste – a common occurrence for creative people. I wanted to produce something that addressed the fears talked about in this piece, the sentiment of which has stuck with me throughout much of my degree.
There are issues, for me at least, in knowing that for the foreseeable future I will not be completely happy with my work overall. Hell, I don’t think anyone is ever truly fully happy with their work and the key I know is to grind through. To work to the best of your present ability. But I still find myself facing disappointment in myself that I’m not living up to a standard. If I don’t deal with this a shutdown slowly begins and I’m paralysed by feelings of inadequacy.
Looking back it has become obvious that the most productive way that I deal with these feelings is creative procrastination. I attempt to do things as differently from my ‘real’ design work in the hopes that exploring a polar opposite will jump start something. In the past I wouldn’t refer to this procrastinating as important- but it is. It serves a purpose. Just because it doesn’t answer a university brief doesn’t make it any less ‘real’. Some of it might seem silly or dysfunctional but it’s filling the gap. It’s by-product of a struggle to work out what exactly I’m doing in relation to whatever it is I want to do. This publication documented the filler.